I thought that the second round of anniversaries and holidays would be easier than the first, but they haven’t been so far, so I am dreading the next few months that have the hardest anniversaires of all.
Christmas was harder in 2015 than 2014, that I wasn’t expecting. I didn’t want to celebrate, I didn’t want to be around people, even more so than I had not wanted to the first year after Hunter’s death. It was something that I definitely was not prepared for. I thought it was supposed to get easier but it hasn’t. He seems to be slipping further and further away, even though he is just as gone today as he was the day he died.
The anniversary to the day that my water broke, the day that changed mine and Hunter’s life forever just passed, which means that all the anniversaies leading up to his death are just around the corner.
I just want to go away and be alone. I don’t want it to be two years since I had hope and faith that things would work out in our favour.
My Little Acorn 
It’s such a long time to go without that belief in the future and things working out.
In some ways things were easier for me this year because at least I knew what to expect (like New Year’s being worse than Christmas), but other things were harder because it felt farther away, I felt more separated from everything.
*hugs*
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I know exactly what you mean. Hugs right back at you.
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