Something that was said to me a few times since Hunter passed was that I should be grateful that I have Xander, that I have a living child. Whenever I hear that I just want to punch the person in the face. Of course I am grateful for Xander. He is my life, my everything, there isn’t anything that I wouldn’t do for him. But really, think about this if you have children, or even if you don’t have children, and have pets, or siblings or just imagine that you do have a few children. Which one would you pick to die? Which one could you live without?
None, is the answer.
I understand that this was meant to make me feel lucky that I have a child when so many people don’t even have that, but that doesn’t make the loss of Hunter any easier. I am grateful for Xander and if it wasn’t for having him I know that there would have been a lot of days through out the past 16 1/2 months that I probably wouldn’t have gotten out of bed. For that I am beyond grateful that he gives me a reason to keep on living. But that doesn’t change the fact that my other child Hunter is gone.
Today’s topic of intention brings me back to the thought of being grateful and not taking things for granted.
When Xander is arguing with me about why he wants to wear his flip flops instead of actual shoes or won’t get dressed or doesn’t feel like eating. I will remind myself that I am grateful he is here giving me a hard time.
When June decides that she can’t hold in her pee until we get home to let her out and uses the carpet instead of a pee pad I will be grateful that she is a 15 year old bulldog who is still full of life.
When my train is delayed and my ride home takes 4 hours, I will be grateful for the good company and that I am going home alive and to my family.
I could go on and on with ways to be more grateful and not take things for granted, but all in all I just need to remember and remind myself to be happy and grateful for what I have. Hunter would have wanted me to.
So in honour of my precious Hunter I intend to do my best to not take things for granted.
My Little Acorn 
Being grateful for Xander in no way changes the enormity of losing Hunter. We all have something to be grateful about, if we have suffered a loss or not. It certainly does make you appreciate what you have though… and help through the rough moments.
LikeLiked by 1 person